I’m a planner by nature. An organizer of dates, times, and appointments. It brings me comfort and solace in knowing what I can anticipate. Rarely is there a time when I have not documented what the future holds in my day to day. I’m not sure when the need for such strict time management surfaced, but I imagine it was born out of a time when our future was uncertain and everything hinged on whether or not the bishop said “go”. Regardless, the planner sits comfortably nestled against my bible in my purse and is readily available for the next entry. Unlike my planner, my bible does not have room for “my agenda” and doesn’t seem to care where I need/want to be when. Blending the two is, and always has been, a struggle as my time rarely compliments His.
God has made it His personal agenda to stretch me and even break me, in some areas, in an effort to not be so attached to the timing of the world but to become heavily dependent upon His. It’s not pleasant. It’s not comfortable. It doesn’t fit in MY planner, but it does satisfy…eventually. ”He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 Everything. Such an all encompassing word but yet so specifically mine. In the knowing and being of this world, it seems far beyond the understanding of my heart to believe that God really does know what He’s doing and that for everything there is a purpose. These times are especially more difficult when I feel like I don’t have time to wait and I’m needing immediate breakthrough. I’m also finding that the more I use “I” the slower the clock ticks.
So, it turns out the Lord wasn’t joking when He asked me to sit and wait on Him and His timing. Even when I don’t think He’s moving fast enough or even sure He’s listening, He always comes to my aid…just in time. Just in the nick of time He arrives to remind me that I’ve been caught up in being in the world and not of it. Just when I think that my whispers haven’t made it to His ears, He comes rushing in to save the day… and my heart.
I’ve always been a softy where matters of the heart are concerned and probably have a heightened sensitivity to things that most people don’t. This isn’t necessarily a gift and definitely nothing that would set me apart, but an awareness that has served more as an interruption in my day to day than an asset. In fact, there are moments in time when I wish I was not so sensitive because at times my own sensitivity gets misinterpreted as the Lord’s unctioning. Oftentimes I don’t recognize this as the case until it’s too late and my heart has already invested itself. It doesn’t matter if it’s a job opportunity, expanding our family, or following a dream because in all of those instances I have allowed my heart to steer when it should have been the Lord.
In those same instances the Lord has been ever so faithful at keeping His promises. He will always make ALL things beautiful in His time. Thankfully, He will never adhere to my time table and check in with my planner before going ahead with His work in me. I am reminded of these things yet again this week as I face more of life’s “stuff”. Of course it’s in these moments that I’m ever so aware of time because of the deadlines of the world, but I’m also mindful of my God’s desires for my life. If I’ve learned anything in trying to please the people around me it’s that I never will and if I weigh the standards of my own life against those of others, my human perceptions will never see adequacy. But my God has set me apart.
Galatians 1:15 “15 But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother’s womb and called me through His grace, was pleased”
From the very beginning, long before there were planners and blackberries, God set all of us apart for His purposes and to bring glory to Him. Unfortunately, for us planners, it means that our wordly obligations mean nothing in accordance to God the Father’s plan for our lives. So while it would be nice to have a salary with a lot of zeros behind it, or enough kids to make your own football team, our dreams completely underestimate how God’s reality can top it! I do it all the time, but not without turning back around and placing it right next to the Father’s feet. I imagine I will always struggle with the concept of time and my dreams in comparison to God’s desires. However, I give God the glory for allowing me opportunity after opportunity to relinquish these things to Him and trust that He will make EVERYTHING beautiful in His time.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
